I just can't put my finger on why, but I just can't be hopeful about this anymore. From the moment we left the clinic, I kept forgetting that I was supposed to be taking it easy. Then we had the storm and its aftermath, and there was no way I could not go out on the balcony and try to see what had happened. Ever since then, I have had a very difficult time staying still. We missed the party for the 4th of July. I hated that.
I have been trying to not put any faith in this whole cycle. Even after this, I can not help but want this to work. That is the hard part. How can you hope that it works, but not have faith that it can work? That is where I am having the hardest time. I just don't want to get attached to anything. Is this wrong? I just feel like I am not as hopeful any more. I have lost that. How do I feel that again?
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First of all ((big hugs)). I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time with this. I can't imagine how stressful it must be this time around. I can't say anything that's gonna make you feel better but I'm here if ya need anything! You guys are always in my prayers and just know that you got support & people who care about ya.
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